That's your girlfriend?

Well, she didn't exactly say that, but what she actually said was along those lines.

His mom met me through the background picture on his phone. It was a pretty bad picture, not going to lie; to this day still, I'm not sure who convinced me to get those bangs, but they looked pretty bad, and as a junior in high school, nobody looks like their best.

"She's fat and ugly," his mom had said, which he dutifully reported back to me the next day.