He bought me three drinks to demonstrate his knowledge of alcoholic beverages and to prepare me for any social encounter involving a bar, a bartender, a drinks menu, and a chance to impress someone with my knowledge of alcoholic beverages.
Amaretto Sour, Singapore Sling, and a Screwdriver.
Monday
Squirrels
It had been a particularly good day. I had just picked up my work contract and tax return forms from my new workplace, we had just eaten at an Indian restaurant downtown, and chased squirrels around all day on campus.
In high spirits, we sat in his room going through his calender and looking at the various post-it notes, killing time until I had to go catch my bus home.
Out of nowhere, he said that he was leaving for six months and asked me if I was willing to wait. I remember saying yes. I remember him saying that, "I don't know, but I have a feeling, and I'm just going to go with it."
I also remember running for a bus and frantically searching through my bag for my bus ticket, turning around to give him a hug, but he kissed me instead. I couldn't really process it because I had to get on the bus, but I might have laughed about it later.
In high spirits, we sat in his room going through his calender and looking at the various post-it notes, killing time until I had to go catch my bus home.
Out of nowhere, he said that he was leaving for six months and asked me if I was willing to wait. I remember saying yes. I remember him saying that, "I don't know, but I have a feeling, and I'm just going to go with it."
I also remember running for a bus and frantically searching through my bag for my bus ticket, turning around to give him a hug, but he kissed me instead. I couldn't really process it because I had to get on the bus, but I might have laughed about it later.
Indecision
"So, what do you want?" he asked. "I need to know before I go home for the holidays."
I thought we already had this conversation, once every day this weekend. I wanted something with him, but I just didn't know what. Or, no, I did know. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say it because I knew there was nothing I trusted about him.
So I just said, "I know how I feel, but I didn't think any further than that."
Of course I had. Between studying breaks, maybe once during breakfast, maybe a few times while daydreaming in class or procrastinating on assignments, or when I had to ask him for more details about an event our student clubs were coordinating, of course I did. I thought about what it would be like to go on long walks and watch sunsets, talk about the future and our hopes and dreams and insecurities, or make breakfast together and laugh about burnt toast, or call just say to say hi, or write postcards and letters to, or drink wine and listen to jazz and with silent appreciation, or be distracted from time to time. I wondered what it'd be like to care for this person.
"Well, I'm not particularly looking for a relationship right now." he said.
"That's fine," I answered.
No, it wasn't fine by me, but I was just too afraid to say it out loud.
I thought we already had this conversation, once every day this weekend. I wanted something with him, but I just didn't know what. Or, no, I did know. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say it because I knew there was nothing I trusted about him.
So I just said, "I know how I feel, but I didn't think any further than that."
Of course I had. Between studying breaks, maybe once during breakfast, maybe a few times while daydreaming in class or procrastinating on assignments, or when I had to ask him for more details about an event our student clubs were coordinating, of course I did. I thought about what it would be like to go on long walks and watch sunsets, talk about the future and our hopes and dreams and insecurities, or make breakfast together and laugh about burnt toast, or call just say to say hi, or write postcards and letters to, or drink wine and listen to jazz and with silent appreciation, or be distracted from time to time. I wondered what it'd be like to care for this person.
"Well, I'm not particularly looking for a relationship right now." he said.
"That's fine," I answered.
No, it wasn't fine by me, but I was just too afraid to say it out loud.
Oh, I'm not really looking for that right now...
I can still remember the look on his face when I said, "I'm not actually looking for something serious right now, I don't think I'm ready." He was taken aback, but offered me a piece of sushi in his Bento box and we continued eating like nothing had happened.
Just be ready for it
I was packing up my life from that year, putting everything into boxes and pushing them into the hallway after finishing my last exam for that year. He called and told me he might go further with her tonight. I said only if he was ready, don't do anything he wasn't ready for.
He called me back and said I was right, that he wasn't ready.
After waiting for an hour in what seemed like an never-ending, never-budging line to get into what was going to be the last night the student club was going to be open, we all dispersed and went to someone's house instead. I saw him outside with her, standing against a tree on the front lawn, while I was on my way out. My friends and I walked home and he called me, panicking that he had just made out with her but it didn't feel right and this was the first time he had ever kissed anyone. We waited for him to catch up with us and we tried to order pizza. He left to go home to sleep before his interview the following morning.
He called me back and said I was right, that he wasn't ready.
After waiting for an hour in what seemed like an never-ending, never-budging line to get into what was going to be the last night the student club was going to be open, we all dispersed and went to someone's house instead. I saw him outside with her, standing against a tree on the front lawn, while I was on my way out. My friends and I walked home and he called me, panicking that he had just made out with her but it didn't feel right and this was the first time he had ever kissed anyone. We waited for him to catch up with us and we tried to order pizza. He left to go home to sleep before his interview the following morning.
Another school year finished
I had my unwashed hair clipped back with a ridiculously-sized hair clip while I was cleaning out the residence apartment I lived in. All of my roomates had moved out earlier so I was scrubbing furiously away at the bathtub and putting away the brooms somebody had left behind.
He knocked on the door and sat amongst the pile of laundry strewn about in my room and watched as I brushed my teeth. I didn't want him to look but he watched me brush my teeth anyway. He got the job that I called him to remind him about the interview this morning.
We trekked over to another residence building to pick up some stuff and drop some stuff off, then helped my future housemate clean her apartment. He helped me clean a complete stranger's dishes and refrigerator.
We left and made lunch at his house - whatever was left in the cupboards and fridge - rice with creamed corn, cantaloupe.
The yoga mat he bought for one of our mandatory classes came to good use as we climbed out the window and sat on his roof, just checking out what was going on in the backyards below.
He knocked on the door and sat amongst the pile of laundry strewn about in my room and watched as I brushed my teeth. I didn't want him to look but he watched me brush my teeth anyway. He got the job that I called him to remind him about the interview this morning.
We trekked over to another residence building to pick up some stuff and drop some stuff off, then helped my future housemate clean her apartment. He helped me clean a complete stranger's dishes and refrigerator.
We left and made lunch at his house - whatever was left in the cupboards and fridge - rice with creamed corn, cantaloupe.
The yoga mat he bought for one of our mandatory classes came to good use as we climbed out the window and sat on his roof, just checking out what was going on in the backyards below.
Over anatomy and breakfast
It was two nights before the final exam for our anatomy and physiology course. We were studying with another group member from one of our other classes. The three of us were furiously going through lecture slides, every inch of the page covered in highlighter or notes. We studied in the 24-hour library, accompanied by the population of students who probably had an exam the next day and were also pulling all-nighters. By 7 AM we decided to get breakfast at the hospital cafe. Sleep-deprived and delirious, we decided to discuss global health ethics and volunteering abroad. It turned into a full-out yelling match about how medical volunteer trips were unethical. Our group mate sat there dumbfounded and amused.
Sunday
The fundamentals still apply
"It's not that he has to talk to you, but he has someone to talk to, and you the same. That's why we get into relationships, right? So we can just be like 'yo man, what did you eat for breakfast today?'"
Just your ukulele and my guitar
I just checked the forum and there's a faculty coffeehouse coming up. Let's perform something because we're feeling musically inclined today and our impromptu ukulele jam sessions just won't do anymore.
You came over with your ukulele but we couldn't even get through the first line "Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma and Pa" of Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros because I was laughing too hard. We couldn't even get through Tears in Heaven because we were each playing along to different tunes in our heads. We called it a night and you tried to convince me that maybe we just couldn't do this.
But you had to buy an acquaintance groceries (kitty litter and bread) and had time to kill on a Friday evening and I needed to not think about professional school for a night and so we brought our instruments to the coffee shop halfway between our houses. We tried Gabriela y Rodriguez, but their skill level was beyond us, so we ordered pizza and wings instead, with a can of ginger ale and a can of coke. We tried Israel Kamakawiwoʻole's Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World, Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz's Lucky, and Home.
I laughed at how "you put the flower in my hair" and the way you sang the word "ocean". You still weren't convinced that we could do this and that this jam session was just to cheer me up.
But you came over the day before the performance and realized that it was okay if we screwed up because it was just a student performance, and students are forgiving. We practiced with the sheets of lyrics spread out on the floor, testing our vision to see if two nervous people with poor eyesight could read this tomorrow onstage.
We didn't sound like Jason Mraz or Colbie Caillat, but we sure did sound like ourselves, and we sure had a lot of laughs on and offstage.
You came over with your ukulele but we couldn't even get through the first line "Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma and Pa" of Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros because I was laughing too hard. We couldn't even get through Tears in Heaven because we were each playing along to different tunes in our heads. We called it a night and you tried to convince me that maybe we just couldn't do this.
But you had to buy an acquaintance groceries (kitty litter and bread) and had time to kill on a Friday evening and I needed to not think about professional school for a night and so we brought our instruments to the coffee shop halfway between our houses. We tried Gabriela y Rodriguez, but their skill level was beyond us, so we ordered pizza and wings instead, with a can of ginger ale and a can of coke. We tried Israel Kamakawiwoʻole's Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World, Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz's Lucky, and Home.
I laughed at how "you put the flower in my hair" and the way you sang the word "ocean". You still weren't convinced that we could do this and that this jam session was just to cheer me up.
But you came over the day before the performance and realized that it was okay if we screwed up because it was just a student performance, and students are forgiving. We practiced with the sheets of lyrics spread out on the floor, testing our vision to see if two nervous people with poor eyesight could read this tomorrow onstage.
We didn't sound like Jason Mraz or Colbie Caillat, but we sure did sound like ourselves, and we sure had a lot of laughs on and offstage.
Flowers...! kthxbi
In high school it was a covert mission of sneaking around doing things you weren't supposed to be doing and seeing people you weren't supposed to be seeing.
He gave me roses one day, but I couldn't even put them in a vase because there would be questions, so I thanked him, and hid them in a dark corner in my closet.
He gave me roses one day, but I couldn't even put them in a vase because there would be questions, so I thanked him, and hid them in a dark corner in my closet.
It's this room again
I'm not her, but for tonight I guess it doesn't matter. I wore this last time too. We went looking for the same room on the first floor of this club a few months ago too. I can still hear you saying that you loved the single life and I agreed with this wholeheartedly as you clink your beer bottle to mine and you clink your bottle to the table to those who can no longer cheers, and we toast to being unattached without responsibilities. It's bottoms up. A few months later, still the same club, and I can still hear you saying so what if you were on my mind - were you the only one I thought about?
Tonight, it's this room again, the alcohol's loosened your tongue and your heart as you let your secrets and feelings come from every pore, from every direction possible. I feel a little bit trapped because none of this is anything I want to hear but I sit and listen anyway, as you tell me about your regrets and your wishful thinking - we would have been good together.
But you chose her; the world will keep turning, and life will go on.
Tonight, it's this room again, the alcohol's loosened your tongue and your heart as you let your secrets and feelings come from every pore, from every direction possible. I feel a little bit trapped because none of this is anything I want to hear but I sit and listen anyway, as you tell me about your regrets and your wishful thinking - we would have been good together.
But you chose her; the world will keep turning, and life will go on.
He's just an ex
He's just an ex when we're with mutual friends taking the subway to another mutual friend's house party.
He's just an ex when we're pouring drinks into our red plastic cups.
He's just an ex when we're at the table chasing beer caps across its surface.
He's still just an ex when we're sharing a chair because there's only one chair left in the room.
He's still just an ex when he catches me as I slip off the chair because obviously, it's only big enough for one of us.
He's still just an ex when we take a walk outside looking for some food because it's too loud and rowdy inside.
He could still be just an ex when he pulls me close and says he's sorry for everything he did.
He could still be just an ex when I start to cry because I never understood why we broke up and he can't either.
He's just not quite an ex when he decides to kiss me and we'll figure this all out tomorrow in the daylight with a phone call when the mood's not right anymore.
He's just an ex when we're pouring drinks into our red plastic cups.
He's just an ex when we're at the table chasing beer caps across its surface.
He's still just an ex when we're sharing a chair because there's only one chair left in the room.
He's still just an ex when he catches me as I slip off the chair because obviously, it's only big enough for one of us.
He's still just an ex when we take a walk outside looking for some food because it's too loud and rowdy inside.
He could still be just an ex when he pulls me close and says he's sorry for everything he did.
He could still be just an ex when I start to cry because I never understood why we broke up and he can't either.
He's just not quite an ex when he decides to kiss me and we'll figure this all out tomorrow in the daylight with a phone call when the mood's not right anymore.
Nevermind a date, let's get married
I hadn't taken an art class at my new school yet, as I got an exemption from taking grade ten art. When I walked into my eleventh grade art class, I remember sitting across from a Russian boy with striking eyes and an interesting demeanor. He always came in late and smelled of cigarette smoke and only spoke up to ask where the conte and manila paper were. I could hardly keep a straight face when we had to draw portraits of each other for one of our assignments. I'm not quite sure what happened, but my drawing of him ended up making his face look slanted and squished, and his just accentuated my already prominent nostrils.
We went to the zoo during the summer and I tried to sit on the handlebars of his bike. That lasted about two meters before I fell off and laughed to myself. When he sent me pictures of us standing in front of the sleepy-looking llama that night, it was accompanied with: "I wanted to ask you something today but..."
Turns out that he wanted to ask me to marry him.
We went to the zoo during the summer and I tried to sit on the handlebars of his bike. That lasted about two meters before I fell off and laughed to myself. When he sent me pictures of us standing in front of the sleepy-looking llama that night, it was accompanied with: "I wanted to ask you something today but..."
Turns out that he wanted to ask me to marry him.
Chicken little
I was in the sixth grade sitting on the back of a yellow school bus with a few of my friends on the way back from an amusement park for a grad trip when I saw a huge stuffed chicken being passed back from the front of the bus. It landed in my lap and I wondered what I was supposed to do with it. Apparently it was for me, from the boy I had a crush on, who happened to have a crush on me too. I giggled, turned red, and then passed it back to the front, not looking at him as I ran off the bus when we reached our school's parking lot.
What was I supposed to do with a large stuffed chicken?
What was I supposed to do with a large stuffed chicken?
Casanova with the piercing eyes
He was a rather weird guy. Every time he walked into the classroom, everyone started giggling and whispering around. He was an only son of the politician and he was very different from us. He was always suited up, always used only branded stuff and to be honest, he was a bit arrogant. He had this really annoying habit of staring at people with his dark brown penetrating look. I didn't like him and moreover, I was kinda scared of him.
Once in the cafeteria I was walking with a tray full of food. He was wearing a brand new snow white sweater that day. I accidentally touched his shoulder with a tray and have been pierced by his annoying and terrifying eyes. I apologized and tried to walk away as fast as I could. After that incident he started staring at me and my friend even more and I was sure he hated me. Surprisingly enough he decided to get to know us and started talking to us, mostly to my friend because they had more classes together. We both thought he liked her.
One day I fell sick. I didn't go to classes for about three days and my friend told me he was wondering about me. When I got better and came to class, he greeted me very warmly and we became friends. We talked a lot and I realized that he was a very interesting person. He knew a lot about arts, literature and music. He also traveled a lot. During Xmas vacations he went to Argentine and brought me tango music. I was impressed. I started falling for him, but his weird eyes kept bothering me.
He asked me out once, but for some reason I couldn't make it. Luckily. I soon found out he has been asking out about four girls at the same time. All of them were my friends. It kinda funny that they all were A students. Such a jerk. A smart jerk. He was very good at finding approaches to girls. We all enjoyed talking to him. He brought each of us something special from his travels. Like for me it was a CD with tango music, because he knew music and dance are my passion. Another girl got a seashell, and the third one a jewelery. Well, eventually we all found out about his tricks and after that he could not ask anyone out in our school.
Once in the cafeteria I was walking with a tray full of food. He was wearing a brand new snow white sweater that day. I accidentally touched his shoulder with a tray and have been pierced by his annoying and terrifying eyes. I apologized and tried to walk away as fast as I could. After that incident he started staring at me and my friend even more and I was sure he hated me. Surprisingly enough he decided to get to know us and started talking to us, mostly to my friend because they had more classes together. We both thought he liked her.
One day I fell sick. I didn't go to classes for about three days and my friend told me he was wondering about me. When I got better and came to class, he greeted me very warmly and we became friends. We talked a lot and I realized that he was a very interesting person. He knew a lot about arts, literature and music. He also traveled a lot. During Xmas vacations he went to Argentine and brought me tango music. I was impressed. I started falling for him, but his weird eyes kept bothering me.
He asked me out once, but for some reason I couldn't make it. Luckily. I soon found out he has been asking out about four girls at the same time. All of them were my friends. It kinda funny that they all were A students. Such a jerk. A smart jerk. He was very good at finding approaches to girls. We all enjoyed talking to him. He brought each of us something special from his travels. Like for me it was a CD with tango music, because he knew music and dance are my passion. Another girl got a seashell, and the third one a jewelery. Well, eventually we all found out about his tricks and after that he could not ask anyone out in our school.
Right here, right now
On that day, it didn't matter that he was going to talk for five hours with another girl about sex the very next day and make a substantial connection with her and that she was going to be the one who changed his mind, the one he wanted to settle down with, the one he was sure about, and didn't have second thoughts about.
All that mattered that day was the walk we took as I showed him my old high school, the neighbourhood my high school friends and I used to hang out in after school and during lunch times. It was wintertime, so nobody was at the park, but we went anyway. We sat on the swings and talked about our favourite colours and most memorable childhood memories. Black, teal. A falling bookshelf and being caught underneath it, biking through the park.
We may have awkwardly said goodbye and I may have questioned his motives, but for that particular moment, none of the logistics mattered.
All that mattered that day was the walk we took as I showed him my old high school, the neighbourhood my high school friends and I used to hang out in after school and during lunch times. It was wintertime, so nobody was at the park, but we went anyway. We sat on the swings and talked about our favourite colours and most memorable childhood memories. Black, teal. A falling bookshelf and being caught underneath it, biking through the park.
We may have awkwardly said goodbye and I may have questioned his motives, but for that particular moment, none of the logistics mattered.
okay, I didn't mean literally
My friends all knew I was trying to find him that night. As coworkers we only exchanged the occasional word about our students and different teaching methods, about what specimens we were going to discuss that week, and if we had handed in our safety training forms yet. Then he had to go and make a PowerPoint presentation for his students for their first tutorial. I was impressed; I explained the course outline to my students in ten minutes and then took them on a tour of the lab.
But when he walked into the club that night, I remember that one of my friends picked me up, put me on his shoulder, and literally threw me at him. He also asked me for my coworker's name, and ran around on the patio, and inside, screaming my coworker's name. I may not have enjoyed ethanol in a beaker earlier that year as it determined 5% of my final grade for organic chemistry, but thank goodness for ethanol that night and how it could make sounds and sights blurry.
But when he walked into the club that night, I remember that one of my friends picked me up, put me on his shoulder, and literally threw me at him. He also asked me for my coworker's name, and ran around on the patio, and inside, screaming my coworker's name. I may not have enjoyed ethanol in a beaker earlier that year as it determined 5% of my final grade for organic chemistry, but thank goodness for ethanol that night and how it could make sounds and sights blurry.
"You are fat!"
He was a chubby cute boy. He liked pizza and enjoyed watching "The Mask" every day after school. He didn't do well in school and was pretty lazy. I was a skinny ambitious girl who was always too busy with after-school activities to have a proper meal and to watch cartoons. We were studying together in grade one and then he transfered to another school. However we continued keeping in touch until grade seven. Until I received a little postcard by mail in which he told me that he liked me... After that I disappeared...
He found me last year through our common friends (common friends are everywhere!). He was so excited and wanted to hang out. But I had to disappoint him by telling that I am not in town... and even not on the same continent. Then he told me that he has been looking for me all these years. He started working out and received the black belt in taekwondo after I called him fat lol He got into university and started his own business. He also told me that he was still single. I felt so bad... But couldn't say anything. I am happy he changed. He is successful and very good-looking. But he is the same cute boy I knew before, who loves pizza and "The Mask".
Few months ago he posted his pictures of him and his girlfriend on Facebook. She is very pretty and must be a very nice girl. I am happy seeing him happy. And I don't regret calling him "fat" :)
He found me last year through our common friends (common friends are everywhere!). He was so excited and wanted to hang out. But I had to disappoint him by telling that I am not in town... and even not on the same continent. Then he told me that he has been looking for me all these years. He started working out and received the black belt in taekwondo after I called him fat lol He got into university and started his own business. He also told me that he was still single. I felt so bad... But couldn't say anything. I am happy he changed. He is successful and very good-looking. But he is the same cute boy I knew before, who loves pizza and "The Mask".
Few months ago he posted his pictures of him and his girlfriend on Facebook. She is very pretty and must be a very nice girl. I am happy seeing him happy. And I don't regret calling him "fat" :)
Saturday
Just passing time
He lived a forty five minute subway ride away from me, but he would always take me home whenever I went to visit him. On one such occasion, we had to find something to pass the time with, so we played a game. We each picked a subway door, and if more people walked through the door you picked, you won. The prize? Playfully and lightly swat at the other person's arm. I can't remember who won, but it definitely helped pass the time.
Leaving for the West Coast
I'm going to try to find you because we just had an argument and you're leaving for the West Coast tomorrow for the summer and I want to say goodbye. You won't return any of my calls because what I said upset you, that our priorities don't align, won't align, will never align. I'm going to drive to your house and try to find you because you bought six beers and drank two of them by yourself while you were packing and hung up the phone. I'll arrive at your house to find that maybe I'm too late because all of the lights are off and your flight leaves at 8 AM tomorrow. I'm going to get a call from my housemate because all of the doors are open and nobody's home, but you. You took a taxi to my house after you did the majority of your packing and I come back to see you sitting on the stairs looking sad, scared, and defeated. We both know what neither of us can say out loud; that it's over, it's been over for a long time now, but we don't speak of this. We apologize, and I lean on your shoulder.
According to the Constitution... "I love you"
I was in grade eight. One day something happened to my locker and I was unable to close it properly. I was kinda in a hurry so I decided to leave it the way it is and ran to my classes. I remember taking Law that term and it was one of my favourite classes. Yeah I wanted to be a lawyer back then. So one day I opened the Constitution in class and found this lines: "I love you cutie". I was like: "Who the hell could write this and how did he/she get into my locker?" I told my best friend about it and she was surprised too. So out of curiosity I decided to leave the locker unlocked. Every week this mysterious guy left me messages on the first page of the Constitution. Once he even put a postcard in it. I tried to find out who is it, but I never succeeded. I even thought my friends were making fun of me. But noone was aware about this story. The last message I received from him was "I miss you" and a little present - a snowball with a cute monkey holding roses. I am still keeping it in my room.
Let me pencil you in
Let me answer this text message and let you know that I'll be available both Saturday and Sunday at 7 PM PST/10 PM EST. Let you respond again and tell me you're only free on Sunday and that it's great to be home, you're not used to the routine, but you'll get used to it soon.
Let me prepare myself mentally for this because I know I'm putting the date of our break up into my agenda, and making time for you to say those words. Let you apologize for taking my textbooks and making arrangements to buy me new ones, but have a nice summer, have a nice life, I'll see you in the fall.
Let me prepare myself mentally for this because I know I'm putting the date of our break up into my agenda, and making time for you to say those words. Let you apologize for taking my textbooks and making arrangements to buy me new ones, but have a nice summer, have a nice life, I'll see you in the fall.
Just a little bit awkward
It's a little bit funny when your best friend walks into a dark room and catches you just as you're about to do something naughty.
For the friendship's sake...
We met at our friend's house party. It was random for both of us. I was on my way to the Dollar store to get some stuff for my Halloween costume. He was on his way to the bus station - he was planning a surprise visit for his girlfriend.
But something happened and we both ended up chilling at our common friend's house party. Couple shots of Apple Smirnoff (disgusting thing) and the night carried us away... We danced the whole night, we danced everything from hip hop to tango. He was hot like hell :) Eventually we got tired and dizzy. He wanted to hold my hand. I felt awkward because he had a girlfriend but did not resist. The next morning he went to his girlfriend and I finally bought everything I needed for the upcoming party.
A week later we bumped into each other in the library. We decided to study together. The more I knew about him, the more I liked him. But he had a girlfriend. So I decided not to hang out with him anymore. It took me couple of months to get over him. But I don't regret. Because now he is my best friend. He was the one who helped me get my first job. He is the one I can ask to bring me food when I am starving at the library. And he was the first person I called when my first boyfriend broke up with me. And I really hope he doesn't know and will never know that I really liked him before.
But something happened and we both ended up chilling at our common friend's house party. Couple shots of Apple Smirnoff (disgusting thing) and the night carried us away... We danced the whole night, we danced everything from hip hop to tango. He was hot like hell :) Eventually we got tired and dizzy. He wanted to hold my hand. I felt awkward because he had a girlfriend but did not resist. The next morning he went to his girlfriend and I finally bought everything I needed for the upcoming party.
A week later we bumped into each other in the library. We decided to study together. The more I knew about him, the more I liked him. But he had a girlfriend. So I decided not to hang out with him anymore. It took me couple of months to get over him. But I don't regret. Because now he is my best friend. He was the one who helped me get my first job. He is the one I can ask to bring me food when I am starving at the library. And he was the first person I called when my first boyfriend broke up with me. And I really hope he doesn't know and will never know that I really liked him before.
With my own eyes
We played broken telephone, sending emails back and forth, missing phone calls due to busy schedules and the time difference. For half a year we didn't live in the same city, and for four months, not even in the same continent. But when I answered my door that evening, I could not believe that after six months, it was him, and he was on my doorstep. We talked about the needle exchange program in Vancouver.
The burritos were good. But not nearly as good enough as the realization that we were finally in the same city.
The burritos were good. But not nearly as good enough as the realization that we were finally in the same city.
Revisiting St. Valentine
I just came from a meeting, and it's a little late, but you want to meet up for green tea with two brown sugars. That I can do; I can tell you Happy Valentine's Day in person. We can talk about the events that occurred during our day, and why you're carrying a plate with three cookies. You don't eat the cookies and you want me to eat them, but a first year student made them, so you should eat them. Your housemate asks you to come home to help her with something and you give me a hug and leave. You don't go home to a housemate who needs help, but turns out that you go home to your girlfriend who wants to eat dinner with you on Valentine's Day.
St. Valentine
We're just teenagers with a curfew and enough change for bus fare. So this Valentine's day, after last period, we're going to hold hands and walk through the aisles in Price Chopper, looking at everything from apples to laundry detergent to spatulas. Then we're going to sit in front of an apartment building and watch the people entering and exiting the building.
Just celebrating
You don't need the stuff of movies and grand romances to appreciate the finer moments of life. All you need is a microwave and a lighter, and you're set to go.
So it's alright if we're students and we pay rent and have to rely on student loans.
It's alright if we can't afford to go to the restaurant at the top of the CN Tower or any of the Winterlicious/Summerlicious restaurants when they aren't offering their deals.
Because all we need right now is a tealight from the thirty for a dollar value pack from the dollar store and two 99 cents Michelina's microwavable TV dinners to celebrate.
So it's alright if we're students and we pay rent and have to rely on student loans.
It's alright if we can't afford to go to the restaurant at the top of the CN Tower or any of the Winterlicious/Summerlicious restaurants when they aren't offering their deals.
Because all we need right now is a tealight from the thirty for a dollar value pack from the dollar store and two 99 cents Michelina's microwavable TV dinners to celebrate.
A little bit low
So if we're in the mood to kiss, then sure that's what we'll do. But friend, do friends kiss? No, they don't. Do friends hold hands? No, they don't. But if we're in the mood maybe we'll cross that line.
So I put on a slinky black dress. As I zipped it up in the back and put on my heels, putting just the right amount of make up on and a touch of perfume right on the collar bone, I ran these potential scenarios through my head. I wanted to make him look twice and forget that we were just friends.
I went to the club in the mood, and hoping to see my friend, and I did. I saw him look at another girl the way he used to look at me, I saw him hold her hand, and buy her drinks. I saw him put his arm around her waist and kiss her, and introduce her to his friends, and I saw him walk right past me and not even say hello.
So I put on a slinky black dress. As I zipped it up in the back and put on my heels, putting just the right amount of make up on and a touch of perfume right on the collar bone, I ran these potential scenarios through my head. I wanted to make him look twice and forget that we were just friends.
I went to the club in the mood, and hoping to see my friend, and I did. I saw him look at another girl the way he used to look at me, I saw him hold her hand, and buy her drinks. I saw him put his arm around her waist and kiss her, and introduce her to his friends, and I saw him walk right past me and not even say hello.
Wait no, it was you
It was dark in the club, but I was trying to talk to him. I don't think I could take him seriously while he was dressed up as Colonel Sanders, but it was Halloween, and it was a club, so I just wanted to dance. His two friends came along and we hit the floor.
But when I looked up, he had disappeared and I was left with one of his friends.
But when I looked up, he had disappeared and I was left with one of his friends.
Uh... excuse me miss
There was an interesting conversation at the bar, sipping on a beer he paid for.
There was some laughter and some anatomy jokes thrown back and forth, the usual verbal banter.
There was the discussion of how next morning's work training was going to be.
There was a blur of movement and limbs on the dance floor.
There was him belting out the words to Rihanna's Only Girl in the World.
There was a kiss here and there.
And there was a security guard telling us that the club was now closed as we opened our eyes, let go of each other's hands and walked outside, laughing as we realized we got caught.
There was some laughter and some anatomy jokes thrown back and forth, the usual verbal banter.
There was the discussion of how next morning's work training was going to be.
There was a blur of movement and limbs on the dance floor.
There was him belting out the words to Rihanna's Only Girl in the World.
There was a kiss here and there.
And there was a security guard telling us that the club was now closed as we opened our eyes, let go of each other's hands and walked outside, laughing as we realized we got caught.
The Wall Watchers
One night we both stayed up instant messaging each other. It was one of those school nights when you have an early class the next morning but you just don't feel like going to sleep.
So what were we both doing up at this fine hour? We were "watching paint dry". It turned into a nightly hobby, this "wall-watching".
So what were we both doing up at this fine hour? We were "watching paint dry". It turned into a nightly hobby, this "wall-watching".
The extra wine glass
There were two wine glasses as opposed to the usual one glass that always sat beside the bottle of red wine on his desk. A mutual friend came over to visit him and noticed this. She asked, "Hey, why do you have two glasses? Who was here?"
Just rambling
We were sitting on a park bench after going to an art exhibition. After rambling on for a good half an hour about science classes, New York, and some other topics, he turned to me and said, "I've been trying to kiss you for the past fifteen minutes, but you just keep talking."
"Oh."
And then came the first kiss.
"Oh."
And then came the first kiss.
Oh, that's a schooner
Indeed, that's what a schooner was. Not a boat, but an extra large mug of beer, designed to make me lose a button off my coat in the mud and convince him that we really needed to search for this golden button.
We never found it though, but we found that we loved to sing and play the ukulele and watch Nahson videos at 3 AM.
We also found that making grilled cheese sandwiches at 3 AM is harder than you think it is. You might set off the fire alarm, panic, douse the slice of bread in tap water, and shove the pan back onto the stove, resulting in a soggy mess.
You might just maybe, have a good laugh.
We never found it though, but we found that we loved to sing and play the ukulele and watch Nahson videos at 3 AM.
We also found that making grilled cheese sandwiches at 3 AM is harder than you think it is. You might set off the fire alarm, panic, douse the slice of bread in tap water, and shove the pan back onto the stove, resulting in a soggy mess.
You might just maybe, have a good laugh.
Paris... je t'aime
Paris, the city of love, of every romantic fantasy that you could possibly dream of. And I almost went, that one summer with someone I wanted to love.
There was something fundamentally wrong with us right from the start, but we never acknowledged it. Instead, he decided that a band-aid solution would work best, so he asked me to go to Paris and London with him. I asked for a week off work before I even started work. And so, we began to plan. I put together an extensive list of places I wanted to go and see, and sent this to him, but he sent me back a list with:
Paris:
1) Wine at every meal
2) Boulangerie
3) Louvre
London:
1) Picture at London bridge + clock tower
2) Eat a disgusting English food
3) Fish and chips
We never went to Paris, and he made up an excuse as to why we couldn't go. It was pretty clear. I took down the posters of Paris I had up in my room, gave them away to a friend, and never spoke of the city again. We went our separate ways a week later.
There was something fundamentally wrong with us right from the start, but we never acknowledged it. Instead, he decided that a band-aid solution would work best, so he asked me to go to Paris and London with him. I asked for a week off work before I even started work. And so, we began to plan. I put together an extensive list of places I wanted to go and see, and sent this to him, but he sent me back a list with:
Paris:
1) Wine at every meal
2) Boulangerie
3) Louvre
London:
1) Picture at London bridge + clock tower
2) Eat a disgusting English food
3) Fish and chips
We never went to Paris, and he made up an excuse as to why we couldn't go. It was pretty clear. I took down the posters of Paris I had up in my room, gave them away to a friend, and never spoke of the city again. We went our separate ways a week later.
Messages from the future
I remember that he went to work with a non-governmental organization in Asia for a semester and that being the young naive teenagers we were, we decided that it would be worth it to wait.
But what can you do when you hear about news that Typhoon Ketsana directly hit the city that they are staying in? All you can do is email and ask if they're alright because you have no other way of contacting them.
But you can smile when you wake up one day to a text message sent from a prepaid phone to your own, saying that they miss you and are thinking of you. And you can smile a little bit more when there's a surprise in your mailbox on your birthday.
Because there's a 13-hour time difference and every message you get is almost like receiving a message from the future.
But what can you do when you hear about news that Typhoon Ketsana directly hit the city that they are staying in? All you can do is email and ask if they're alright because you have no other way of contacting them.
But you can smile when you wake up one day to a text message sent from a prepaid phone to your own, saying that they miss you and are thinking of you. And you can smile a little bit more when there's a surprise in your mailbox on your birthday.
Because there's a 13-hour time difference and every message you get is almost like receiving a message from the future.
Europe in a nutshell
After waiting for three hours for him to call back, I realized that he probably fell asleep.
And he had, or that's what he told me.
We went for dinner at an Italian restaurant instead of going to watch Harry Potter because it was a thirty minute bus ride away. We then went on an adventure through the hospital to find a secret exit we had been eying ever since we started living on that street. It just looked so inviting every time the weather got cold outside.
We spent hours watching YouTube videos and just talking about our experiences in our program, swapping traveling stories, and looking at pictures of Europe.
I picked the lint off his carpet because I was nervous and then he ended up vacuuming up my lint pile.
When I left at 5 AM, I was still nervous, but he asked me for a hug, and then I ran all the way home smiling to myself.
And he had, or that's what he told me.
We went for dinner at an Italian restaurant instead of going to watch Harry Potter because it was a thirty minute bus ride away. We then went on an adventure through the hospital to find a secret exit we had been eying ever since we started living on that street. It just looked so inviting every time the weather got cold outside.
We spent hours watching YouTube videos and just talking about our experiences in our program, swapping traveling stories, and looking at pictures of Europe.
I picked the lint off his carpet because I was nervous and then he ended up vacuuming up my lint pile.
When I left at 5 AM, I was still nervous, but he asked me for a hug, and then I ran all the way home smiling to myself.
I might be in like with you, whatever that means
It's 4 AM and I'm still at a friend's place, watching YouTube videos and playing games on my phone. Suddenly, I guess, when our knees touch or our fingers accidentally brush, it feels a little different.
I guess it was no surprise when I woke up the next morning, him having passed out on the bed beside me, that I just had to say, "I'm afraid that the more time I spend with you, the more my feelings will develop for you."
To which he says, "why is that bad?"
I just had to answer, "because it's one-sided."
But he replied with, "I feel the same way."
And for that moment, it was enough.
I guess it was no surprise when I woke up the next morning, him having passed out on the bed beside me, that I just had to say, "I'm afraid that the more time I spend with you, the more my feelings will develop for you."
To which he says, "why is that bad?"
I just had to answer, "because it's one-sided."
But he replied with, "I feel the same way."
And for that moment, it was enough.
Almost made it into the club
11 PM, standing in an elevator with a friend, trying to get people from downstairs. He turned my way and tried to kiss me.
12 AM, too many drinks, trying to get into a club with a group of friends. The entire walk to the club consisted of that friend telling me that we belonged together.
Then he dropped his ID in front of the bouncers, and they told him he couldn't come inside.
So, I sat on the curb with him for the entire night, putting my jacket around him so he wouldn't get cold. Then he had to pee, so I took him into Milestones and then asked the waitress for a glass of water. Then he puked in the flowerpots outside of Milestones.
1 AM, we took him back to the hotel and he passed out.
12 AM, too many drinks, trying to get into a club with a group of friends. The entire walk to the club consisted of that friend telling me that we belonged together.
Then he dropped his ID in front of the bouncers, and they told him he couldn't come inside.
So, I sat on the curb with him for the entire night, putting my jacket around him so he wouldn't get cold. Then he had to pee, so I took him into Milestones and then asked the waitress for a glass of water. Then he puked in the flowerpots outside of Milestones.
1 AM, we took him back to the hotel and he passed out.
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